Synopsis "Wearing Stripes (in English)"
This is the ascent of one woman into humanity from a perspective of a patient in the psychiatric system, and her descent back into humanity. It was written during a difficult period of time, so please excuse its mistakes. And, then, allow for the truth it contains to give place for your experiences. My story begins with the place where she lived during the first year of her adult life, as she transitioned into a better place, outside of her hometown. I was married in a small town outside of the capital of the state of Indiana, named Muncie, and that is also where I was married. I came from a family of none. My father was not present, and my mother was possessive, and her controlling attitudes, demeaned my ability to take control of my emotions. Although I attended counseling at least once a week, the constant phone calls, to every psychiatrist in the state of Indiana, to whom I had been seeing for at least seven years, was unwilling to placate my fears. I gave into fear and I came to the place of no return in that apartment complex, and the destitution was unequal to that which I felt in that metropolis. My experience gave me courage to face each new day, as I knew that I should not look back from the future, and I gave up my mother's dreams as I followed my heart into the future. I chose to relive each moment with words, and I gave my heart to the only person who was willing to listen. He was my husband, and he remains a part of my heart, despite all that I have felt in the past, and in the future, I will not despise him. He was the saving grace that kept me going, and despite our differences, I was not able to keep him there, and I gave my heart away every time that he was in my presence. The continuing chapters document the trend of my life to follow my heart before my head, and I gave up my decisions at the very moment that I would have been able to take my place among my grandmother and her large shoulders. I descended from a long line of misbehaving and lying hillbillies, and I was educated in a university, the first among my family members to attend a school for the purpose of learning, and the second to go to the elite university in my church. I am a Mormon, and I do not hide it. I cannot be challenged without a reason, and when I win, I do not hide it. I am myself, but I cannot be kept out of trouble. And, to that, I attribute my abilities. This is a story of alcoholism, religion, marriage, disabling fear, and a knowledge of a new life, which could, in other words, be called faith. I end with my words on the past, and as I chose to begin my faithful past with an opportunity to learn more from a descent back into humanity.
