Synopsis ""Life's an Unplayable Lie" (in English)"
A "Foreword" That's Really ... A "Backward"!!! Golf, as virtually anyone who has ever played it knows, is a very difficult game to master...unless the mailbox in front of your home happens to carry the name Palmer, Nicklaus or Woods. But if your mailbox happens to have the name "Spagnolo" on it, well now that's a whole different story altogether, because that name...mine...is now synonymous with and will forever be associated into eternity with bad golf. If you should happen to walk just a little further into my yard, you'll eventually come upon my doorstep. It is here where you will find the responsibility for my name being forever ruined in golf circles heaped up in a huge pile at my front door...yes it was completely my fault. There's no one else to blame in this instance. In fact, it was so bad back in 1985 that it wouldn't be inaccurate to conjecture that on that fateful day, June 19th, 1985, that I took the entire game of golf on my shoulders and literally dragged it backwards 528 years, all the way to back to 1457 when the first 18 hole rounds began being played in Scotland. You see, no one had ever played this game that we all love so badly before or since and probably never will. Today, that count is now up to 555 years! What I am going to endeavor to accomplish with this book is to try to explain how I came to be invited to this "prestigious" event in the first place; to describe my athletic prowess in other sports; the media madness that preceded the event and most importantly, the 28 years' worth of incredible, true events that have subsequently followed. The scores that day were mind-boggling (838 strokes taken by four players during one 18 hole match) so I obviously wasn't the only "world class player" in attendance that day. However, while in many respects my complete golfing inability can be viewed by "score-driven" players as being a "pathetic" thing, regardless of my many failings on the links, I have nevertheless always loved playing this game. So enjoy the ride! But for you golf bluebloods and scratch players out there, do yourself a favor: Be in your favorite chair, clear your head of all superfluous thoughts, have a good glass of scotch...or two...oh what the heck, have the whole bottle there...and have a quality box of cigars out of your humidor. You'll need all of these tools in place and ready before you begin reading because this true story really is a mental hazard that can be as tough as it gets and will truly boggle your mind. As I'm sure you can understand, I cannot be held personally responsible for those who fail to heed these necessary safety precautions!!! Sincerely yours in bad golf, Angelo Spagnolo "66" "America's Worst Avid Golfer"
